Tales of Desperado

Not all dating scenarios turn out as we would have liked. In fact, however painful, cringe worthy, or shameful it may be to admit, sometimes dating disasters are purely our OWN fault...

The morning after drunk dialing Skinny Seth Rogen, the hangover guilt was so severe that my stomach convulsed at the mere thought of him. I was all too familiar with the rules of the dating game and knew that the slightest misstep could lead to instant disqualification. Drunk dialing was definitely more than a misstep;
It was a disaster. I was devastated.

I didn't expect to hear from Skinny Seth ever again so when he texted Sunday afternoon, I was absolutely floored. He invited me to Tavern on one condition - no suits, no baggage. ::MELTS:: Just like that, it was back OONNN!

While the 'no baggage' request was all too easy to oblige, the 'no suits' portion would be a challenge. I had sworn by Barney Stinson's mantra for so long that I had to dig in my closet for something casual. I settled on wearing the only pair of jeans in my closet, but dressed them up with some killer boots and a black shawl. "That's casual.... ish," I said to myself.

I knew Skinny Seth was a stickler for punctuality, so I showed up to Tavern right on time. He was nowhere in sight. I sulked over to our table and sat down, petrified at having arrived first. He walked in a few seconds later looking as delectable as ever. Instantly forgiven.

Skinny Seth was as relaxed and easygoing as the first time we met. I on the other hand... Well, I don't really know what the hell I was.
My mouth was dry, my palms were sweaty, and there were butterflies reenacting a scene out of WWII in my stomach. I was uncharacteristically quiet, unable to do anything other than sip my drink and smile. He threw me a couple softballs: "What are your hobbies? What kind of music do you like?" But it was no use. I had lost all composure. I got so abominably drunk that I was no longer able to function.

I could see the date going straight to the shitter but I couldn't salvage it. I resorted to sex as a last desperate attempt to reel him in. Cue the horror music! We migrated back to his place to work on his beloved 2000 piece puzzle and that's where I hammered the final nail into the coffin. Something about Latin women being the best lovers... ::TRAGIC::

Skinny Seth drove me home sometime afterwards. When he pulled up to my apartment building, I kneeled on the passenger's seat, arms spread wide open, and asked for a hug. Some part of my inebriated subconscious must have known that it would be the last time I'd hug him because I held onto Skinny Seth for a long, long time.