An Observation

People often ask me why I date older men. They tend to assume that because I was raised by a single mother, I somehow developed daddy issues and solely select men that possess fatherly traits. Aside from being tremendously rude, these people are also grossly mistaken. It's not that I'm searching for a father figure at all. Over time I've simply developed a theory... an observation, if you will:

Teens: Ah, that young tender love! Teenage boys will love you unconditionally. Flowers. Chocolates. Mix tapes. While it is true that their love may be driven by the desire to have you touch their peen, you'll be the first person to do so and you'll thus be afforded some decency and respect (if you chose wisely). Plus, they'll want you to do it again. And again. So they'll behave.

Early to Mid-Twenties: Men in their early to mid-twenties just want to screw. Screw relationships. Screw monogamy. Screw condoms. Screw! Screw! Screw! Well, screw you!

Mid to Late-Twenties: This group is a mixed bag. You don’t know what you’re gonna get! Some men refuse to let go of their frat boy days and party all the time. You typically see them at nightclubs or bars (‘cause God knows what they do during the day). They travel in packs and come in all different douchey flavors. Conversely, other men in this group are purely focused on their careers. These men may be serial daters in search of a steady lay (think Justin Timberlake) but the odds of actually getting married are slim (sorry Britney, Cameron, Jessica, etc.).

Early Thirties: This is the gray area. I was going to merge this group with the former, but there is one key difference: thirties are a period of introspection and reflection. Men start thinking of what they've accomplished thus far and what's left to obtain. The thought of legacy and family suddenly sounds appealing. While some men may still think they’re frat boys, as hairlines recede and bellies start to expand, they start to reconsider their lifestyle. Other men are still purely focused on their careers but by now, that woman they’ve held onto during their serial dating phase may be pushing for marriage. This man may choose to either marry said woman or move on to someone else with the intention of getting married. Single men in this group make for great dates. They've got the dating game down pat and are able to drive this train. Plus, they read, ::gasp:: make clever jokes, ::gasps again:: and aren't complete shameless assholes. ::faints::

Mid to Late-Thirties: A man should be securely planted in the career of his choice by now and is hopefully working towards something. Usually he’ll have children by or during this stage. If he's divorced, he's probably realized that marrying that woman he serially dated in his late twenties, while convenient, was a huge mistake and he's trying to start anew. What better way to start anew than with a young, sexy lady that will boost your ego simply because you managed to bag a young, sexy lady? And she's smart? ::gasps:: And she has good taste in music? ::gasps again:: And she likes sports? ::faints::